Issue 12  •  Spring 2013

Top Ten TV Shows You’re Not Watching

Written by J.P. Ortman

1. Summer Heights High (HBO): Da Ali G Show meets Little Britain in this hilarious Australian mockumentary transplant starring Chris Lilley as three different deliciously self-absorbed characters at an Aussie public school. This show is Ja'miezing!
1. Summer Heights High (HBO): Da Ali G Show meets Little Britain in this hilarious Australian  mockumentary transplant starring Chris Lilley as three different deliciously self-absorbed characters at an Aussie public school. This show is Ja'miezing! 

2. Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders (CMT): Think twice before you discount these pom-pom princesses. The women auditioning to be Dallas’s next Cowboy cheerleaders are as disciplined and driven as any of your favorite Project Runway hopefuls. Plus mean girl coaches Kelli and Judy are the villains you love to hate!

3. Real Time with Bill Maher ( HBO): Sharp-tongued and unapologetic, Bill speaks truth to power. And, to boot, the most trusted man on television has got some chutzpah.

4. Celebrity Rehab (VH1): Naysayers might see Dr. Drew's show as exploitative, but I think it’s TV’s best depiction of the destructive nature of substance abuse. You may tune in looking for a train wreck, but you end up wholeheartedly routing for the health and sobriety of each of these pseudo-celebrities.

5. Most Outrageous Moments ( NBC): Bloopers, outtakes, and home videos without Danny Tanner's (fine,  Bob Saget’s) irritating voiceovers. Watching stodgy news reporters dive into ice storms is a guaranteed belly laugh (kind of different from a normal laugh).

6. Charlie Rose (PBS): All he needs is an oak-hewn table and a black backdrop. Charlie might not always ask the hardball questions, but he books some of the greatest cultural, political, and intellectual minds today. The three-and-a-half-minute canned conversations of late-night talk shows have nothing on this one-hour commercial-free tête-à-tête.

7. Kath & Kim (NBC): The most underrated show on TV. Molly Shannon shines as Kath, a foxy divorcée rocking green jumpsuits and leopard print while doing her best to keep her gluttonous daughter, Kim (Selma Blair), at bay. But the show’s true genius lies in Kath’s relationship with mall sandwich shop owner Phil Knight (John Michael Higgins). Their love for one another is so authentic that even their frequent cringe-worthy PDA comes off as endearing.

8. My Two Cents (BET J): African-American thirtysomething poets and professionals debate pop culture and current events without fear of hot button issues like race, sexuality, and gender politics. And no one hesitates to talk over each other.

9. Man vs. Wild (Discovery Channel): Each week, former British Special Air Service Officer Bear Grylls gets dropped off in a remote wilderness locale and struggles to find food, shelter, and a reason to take his shirt off. Whether climbing sheer cliffs, wading rapids, or wrapping his urine-soaked T-shirt around his head to help stave off the desert heat, this survivor-man never loses his cool! I’d get lost with you anytime, Bear!

10. Barefoot Contessa (Food Network): So, I don't officially watch this show because seeing food on the  tube makes my stomach growl, but since my BF watches nothing else, I have fallen in love with Ina by association. I’ll vouch that her recipes are yummy but there’s something tragic about people-pleasing Ina whipping up everyone else’s favorite meal while absentee husband Jeffery is off gallivanting in academia. When will Ina's needs come first?

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