Issue 12  •  Spring 2013

Wunder Tape Is No Small Wonder

Written by Jessica Mahler

We all want what we can’t have, an envy that drives some of us to extremes in obtaining the coveted whatever: straight hair for those dealing with a mass of curls, slimmer noses, bigger breasts, lighter eyes, poutier lips. Yes, us ladies are masters in the art of over-analyzing, finding what we feel are imperfections, obsessing over them, and then doing what we can to “perfect” these “flaws.” We find ways to manipulate our biology in the form of flat-irons, plastic surgery, contact lenses, among others. And now, for those of you wishing you had more junk in your trunk, your dream may be but a piece of butt tape away.

Created to duplicate the effects of the Brazilian butt lift, Wunder Tape claims to instantly enhance your silhouette while minimizing the appearance of cellulite, all without having to go under the knife. “I wanted to create an option for women who desire a better body and better curves, but are unable to undergo cosmetic surgery,” says Wunder Tape creator Dr. Michael Salzhauer, a board certified plastic surgeon. “Now with Wunder Tape, every woman can have the body they dream of.”

Each pack ($12.99 for one, $19.99 for three) comes with two pieces of tape reminiscent of oversize pore strips with holes at each end to aid in application. After removing the backing, take hold of the tape with a finger in each hole, using a stepping action with one leg to help you align the tape behind the thigh. From here, apply the inner end to the upper inner thigh, placing the tape along the buttocks crease, and following the contour all the way around to the outer thigh, anchoring the end up toward the hip bone. Then smooth out any wrinkles that may have popped up and repeat with the other cheek.

I dutifully followed Wunder Tape’s instructions, but what I got wasn’t quite the effect I’d envisioned. Where the tape lay on my derriere seemed to flatten my natural curve, creating a somewhat pancake-like effect in an area where I once had some shape; the tape seems to flatten the area where it is applied, thereby pushing your gorgeous handfuls up. Both on me and the “after” photo shown on the instructions show more of a bubble butt than a curvier one. The tape just took what I had and repositioned it, and—in my opinion—not in a sexier way.

Plus, the instructions show the model applying the tape with spandex shorts on. Even in my underwear, I had a hard time applying and would suggest that you remove your unds before attempting to apply as you could mistakenly adhere to material, thereby affecting the stickiness and liftiness of the tape once you properly apply to your flesh.

Once it’s on, though, and you go about your business, you have moments of being completely aware that it is there (standing, walking), while other times forgetting that it’s on at all (sitting). I didn’t use the bathroom while still wearing the Wunder Tape, but unless you are a professional at peeing while standing/hurtling the toilet, I wouldn’t recommend it. You’ll no doubt be taking toilet-booty germs back with you, and no one wants that.

I should probably state here that I am someone who doesn’t need much help when it comes to adding some curves to my rear end. So having my butt checked out is not something I am unfamiliar with. In testing the Wunder Tape out in a pair of my tightest skinny jeans at a local concert, though, I have to say that I didn’t notice my arse gaining too much attention--aside from me, that is. Every chance I found myself near a mirror I had a look to see how different my backside view appeared, disapproving of my new found bubble butt.

Once the night was over and I found myself back at home, I was not expecting the ordeal that ensued to discard of the used WT. Imagine ripping off a Band-Aid the length of your bum. Not fun. And the Wunder Tape is too long to do it in one fast fell swoop. I was not a fan of this process.

Call me crazy, but I’m the type of girl who doesn’t believe in false advertisement, but you may have a life-changing experience in testing out the Wunder Tape. I didn’t, but that doesn’t mean you need to take my word for it.

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